Channel 5 is apparently intent on making us all crave now-defunct confectionaries. Brace yourselves for another trip down sugary memory lane with “The Sweets & Treats We Loved & Lost.” This time, the spotlight shines (somewhat dimly, given the passage of time) on the neon-hued, chemically-enhanced treats of the 1980s.
For those who survived the decade, it’s a chance to reminisce about the joys of Pacers, Texan Bars, and those disturbingly addictive Potato Puffs. For younger viewers, it’s an anthropological study of questionable food choices and even more questionable marketing tactics. Prepare for revelations about the Milky Bar Kid’s career trajectory and a decidedly adult turn for the once-demure Flake commercials.
Guiding us through this glucose-fueled fever dream is a panel of vaguely familiar faces: Penny Smith, Mark Watson, Rustie Lee, Cheryl Baker, and Sarah Cawood. Apparently, their combined memories of Spangles and Opal Fruits are enough to sustain an entire hour of television. We’ll also be treated to Anne Hegerty and Cheryl Baker engaged in a bubble gum blowing contest, which, honestly, might be the most compelling part of the program.
Beyond the pure nostalgia, the episode also examines the rise of sophisticated (for the time) marketing techniques and the impact of technology on snack food shapes. Yes, someone will attempt to explain the logic behind Horror Bags and Outer Spacers. There’s even talk of Hedgehog-flavored crisps, which, frankly, sounds like a culinary crime against humanity. It all adds up to what will likely be a bizarre, possibly entertaining, and undoubtedly diabetes-inducing hour of television.
Tune in to Channel 5 on Thursday, 9 January, 2025, at 9:00 PM for all the sugary goodness.
