This Is Going To Hurt | Interview with Michele Austin (Tracy)

Please tell us about your character. Do you relate to her at all?

I play Trace, Tracy. I suppose I am not very much like my character, in that she is pretty certain and professional, and really has sort of got it together. She’s holding down a home, she’s a mother. And she has a really important job. She loves her job, so I suppose the similarities are in there, as I do love my job.

She’s pretty certain about everything and believes in the NHS and what it does. And like a lot of midwives that I’ve met, either in my family, or professionally, the call to do the job is all-encompassing, to deliver babies safely to make the mothers feel safe and happy is absolutely at the forefront of what she’s about. Tracy is one of those nurses that are the backbone of the NHS, that get on with the job, despite the many limitations and things that are thrown in the way.

What attracted you to the role?

I mean, the scripts are brilliant, they’re so funny and dark. And there also is a sort of urgency about what Adam is saying, as somebody who is writing from a place of experience. They are funny, and they are scatological, and they’re all those things as well. She’s such a brilliant character. And also, what’s lovely about the story is, it’s not just about the NHS, there is also a love story in there. So, you know, it’s got a bit of everything. It’s one of those ones, where you’re lucky enough to get sent a script to audition for and you think, I really, really, really want this. This has my name on it, and if all the stars align there’s no reason why this can’t be me. So I was so thrilled to be a part of it. I know that sounds like things that actors say a lot, but truly, truly, it’s been an absolute highlight for me.

Tell us about your character’s relationship with the character of Adam.

I think, to understand their relationship is to understand that within a doctor’s training, they sort of go on a rotation, and they move from department to department, and hospital to hospital. So, she has seen a lot of Adams, and she’s used to seeing people cut corners, or maybe not do as well as they should be doing, or think that they’re cleverer than they are. So, I think the thing about her, and Adam is that what she likes about him is that he’s got a little bit of a backbone, but he is also a potential liability. And so there’s this antagonism between them, but also a bit of respect both ways. I think there is some sort of respect there. But I can’t say that they’re friends. They’re not hanging out in the canteen together. But there is some affection there. Deep, deep down…

The series is an adaptation of Adam Kay’s multi-million copy bestselling book. How closely have you worked with him in your time on the project? Had you read the book before reading the script/auditioning?

Here’s the truth. I had bought the book, and it had been in the pile of the books that I was going to read on holiday. And I never got around to it. So when the audition came up, then I read the book. I was aware of Adam, I’d heard him a lot on the radio and things. And so knew that he was an incredibly funny man, and an incredibly funny writer. He came to set very early on, and then because of the wonderful nature of technology he was able to watch what we were doing remotely, because with Covid, all of that sort of stuff had been stepped up.

He seemed so happy with what we were doing dramatically, and what was interesting was that he really wanted to make sure that medically it looked correct. And I felt that that was really important to him. We also had medical advisors on set all the time, and the most incredible prosthetics! Adam seemed very happy with what I was doing and I suppose I sort of felt slightly shy, because, you know, it’s a multi-million bestseller, and a lot of people are really invested in it, and love it. It is one of those books where lots of people who might not necessarily even read novels, had read this book, or had read bits of it in papers. So I really felt that it was important to do the work justice.

What do you think are the main elements/themes of the series that audiences will be able to relate to?

Well, the majority of us have been to hospital at some point. So, I think there’s an awful lot that’s relatable, I suppose. I mean, in the current climate, living through this pandemic, now more than ever, we value the NHS. And so I think, in our way, this is a love letter to the NHS. It is still a rallying cry about making sure that it’s not destroyed, you know, even though it does show the cracks and shortages.

What do I think people will take away from it? It is funny. I mean, it’s very funny. And, as I say, it’s dark also. I think it’s really important to see the training that doctors go through. I think, in the past, there’s been a lot of cute drama about junior doctors, and, and how tired they are, and how much studying they’ve got to do. But actually, what’s very apparent when you read Adam’s books, and I also read a lot around being a midwife – it’s absolutely bloody exhausting. It’s almost like they’re being hazed. The number of hours that they put in, and the stress that they’re under, and what we expect from them under that stress. I think we as the general public are not aware of, we don’t really understand, the lack of sleep, the literally not going to the toilet on your shift for 12 hours because there’s no time.

I mean, one of the things, which was really interesting to me was, one of the nurses that we spoke to, she was sort of looking around the set. And one of the things she said was, “I really like that you’re sitting up on this counter, because there’s never enough chairs for us”. And you just think, God, they spend all this time, literally, saving our lives, and delivering our babies and mopping up after us, and they sort of do it under these sorts of extraordinary conditions where they don’t go to the loo and they can’t find a seat.

The series explores elements derived from Adam Kay’s book about his experience of the reality of life working in the NHS. Do you think seeing this depicted on screen this way might resonate with audiences?

Gosh, I hope so. I mean, I really hope so. I think that over the last year and a half, two years, you know, we’ve been hearing about saving the NHS and everything. But really, the day-to-day work and stress that they’re under is perhaps not highlighted enough, just how much we depend on them. But also how much they as individuals give up, the missed weddings and birthday parties, all of that – that stuff is important. This is everybody, this is not just junior doctors, this is also the midwives and everyone else working in the NHS too – I hope that people see that and appreciate it.

But as I say, this isn’t some polemic about the NHS, this is a drama, a comedy drama at the end of the day. I know that there are certain stories within the diaries that people remember because they are so vivid, and frankly, some of them so nasty, in a good way. So those favourites, the bigger, more disgusting things that people do to themselves, that have them landing up in A&E, they’re also in there. Retrieving things from people’s…. the people who fell on certain things…. all of that!

How familiar were you with the inner workings of the NHS before reading the script?

I can’t lie, I’ve played quite a few nurses. We did some training before so that we were aware of how to use certain bits of equipment, but there were always medical advisors there to help. Like I said, I read around. It seems silly to say it, but they have to be calm. They have to learn to have a game face, and they also have a gallows humour which they need to have in order to survive. So, that was particularly handy when I spoke to nurses and doctors, because they are so matter of fact about all of these things, which are life and death.

What sets this series apart from other hospital-set dramas/comedies?

It comes from an absolute place of truth, because Adam was a doctor. So he’s writing from absolute experience, and it’s based on his diaries. So, I think that it’s the truth of it, and at the heart, it worked. He’s written a department that works like a department in an NHS hospital, and Adam, the character, is following the track of a junior doctor. And in terms of the stuff that I was doing, the births are not sugar-coated. There’s not, you know, a beautifully made up woman with a little bit of glycerine sprayed on her brow, and a couple of puffs and there we have a beautiful baby. We don’t do that. I mean, oh my gosh, these actresses were so incredible. Like, so, so wonderful.

There was an element that we’d all been let out of our houses – we all thought we were never going to work again! So there was an energy on set of like, yeah, we’re gonna do something great. So these power-house women came in with prosthetic bits and bobs, and babies and legs up and fake blood and all sorts – I mean, fake everything. So we all just went for it. There was an energy on set that was like, this is just so brilliant. It was really, really wonderful.

Within the series, writer Adam Kay conveys his experience of the intense workload taken on by NHS staff. How do you think the characters might resonate with audiences?

They do such an extraordinary job under really, really tough circumstances. And I think it’s important for them to feel all NHS workers, I’m not just talking about the junior doctors, all of them – porters, cleaners, everybody – they’re really, really tough. And, I won’t get political, but, they’re being squeezed and squeezed, and they’re not paid enough. And they’re not valued enough. So I think it’s important for people to see the circumstances in which they work and find themselves. Because I think sometimes we simplify it, and we like it to be simple and sort of glamorised. And I don’t think it’s that, I don’t think it’s that glamorous at all.

I really hope that Adam is pleased, because I know that it’s so important to him, that it looks and feels like a real hospital. I think I want them [NHS Staff] to watch it and recognise it. I don’t think Adam is saying all these people are heroes – they’re not without their faults and foibles, I think that is really important to say too. He’s not presenting the junior doctor as the hero. I think fictional Adam might think that sometimes he is the doctor that runs in and saves the day, but we see that this idea is skewered very quickly. So, I hope that the medical teams feel accurately represented.

The series (much as with Adam’s book) perfectly balances the comedic moments of everyday life, with the truly heartbreaking and emotional reality. Tell us a bit about how these two elements work side by side.

We’ve learned so much in the last two years about medical professionals suffering PTSD, because of what they’re seeing, and I think it’s easy for the public to go, “well, they’re used to seeing terrible things” or perhaps they’ve made a decision that didn’t go the right way, and then they’re expected go home and be fine. And actually, no. They’re not fine, because they’re human. They have to live with the decisions that they make, and the terrible things that they’ve seen. And of course they’re affected by them in the same way that we, as members of the public, think about the terrible accident that we saw while driving home, or a terrible thing that happened to us, or something that we regret, you know?

I hope that it is represented within the series, that they’re not heroes and they make really difficult decisions, sometimes very quickly. For most of us, in our work life, when we make a wrong decision we might press send on an email that we shouldn’t have done, or, you know, had a bad day on stage – whatever it is. But you know, the real-life stuff that they have to live with? It’s massive. That’s also to say, that there is humour in there – gallows humour – all of the stuff that’s happening behind the scenes and the camaraderie between them all, because when you work in a really good team of people that you like, and they have to have your back and you have their back. It’s a really important thing.

Were there any memorable highlights during filming?

There was one day with one prosthetic where I did think, nobody in this room, if they don’t already have a child, is going to want one. This is now going to be the childless room! One of the actors was genuinely green – and it wasn’t make-up (laughs). So what they [the SFX team] created was a prosthetic where, if you imagine you’re in a dentist’s chair where you’re lying back and your legs are down and on top of it sit the prosthetic legs. So what you’d have, is a situation where you’re joking with the actress, really having quite a laugh with her top half, and then the bottom half would literally be legs akimbo with a baby’s head crowning (laughs).

Sometimes we’d take a picture for the actress because they can’t really see what’s going on down there, so it was a unique experience. I loved all of that, it made me howl. Another highlight was that it was set in 2006, so I do have quite an interesting wig, and there are lots of bootcut jeans! There was an absolutely gorgeous moment too, where I was so shocked that in the middle of Covid protocol, there were these fabulous people who were prepared to bring their babies in for filming. And I can’t lie, in the middle of all of that madness, it was quite lovely to hold some babies. It literally felt like therapy in itself, just to get a hold these babies, it felt sort of otherworldly.

Lucy [Forbes], who directed the first four episodes really created that atmosphere. She is so brilliant at talking through the characters, talking through what you’re going to do, setting up creating the scene. I mean, she’s a wonderful director. In terms of starting the whole project, she was fabulous at pinning down what was going on with each of the individual characters.

What was it like to work with Ben and the rest of the cast?

Ben is, well, he’s just brilliant. Sometimes you just have to give props to people and he is an absolutely brilliant actor, it’s wonderful when you are working with somebody who is so in it and so invested. You have to come to their level, you have to make sure that you know what you’re doing, and it makes you better.

The rest of the cast was great: Ambika’s incredible, and her character Shruti is adorable. It’s all just so well cast. I had a great time! Unfortunately, I didn’t get to work much with Josie [Walker], who plays the other Tracy (Non-Reassuring Trace). We were passing ships, just as real-life head midwives on opposite shifts would be, but we got along so well! She’s an incredible actor and she’s one of those people who has got a good story for everything. So we were able to have a laugh under really strange circumstances, like social distancing and mask-wearing, PCR-tests – the whole kit and kaboodle!

Do you have a favourite moment that you are excited for audiences to see?

Oh it’s very hard to say without spoilers! I mean, the placenta incident, which people who have read the book will remember, is right up there. Also, working with the girl who played my daughter was lovely. It was lovely to film scenes of Tracy’s home life – that was really important to me. Actresses who look like me, who play nurses, are often not given a home life. They just appear and do the job, and facilitate other people, so that was really important to me to have a bit more insight into Tracy’s life.